Today, I’ve been spending a great deal of time editing my journal—this one. I clarify because I have several.
Now that I think about it, several may be too weak a word… Many? Dozens? Hundreds? …hmmm
Since I said, “I do”, I’ve started and then abandoned many, many…many different hand-written journals. There was the one I wrote in every day (for a while), in which I described my life as a married woman. That journal lasted… about a month.
There was a journal for the mid-life crises I went through at 15 when I had the premonition I would never make it to 30. This one was morose, gloomy and very Gothic in nature… Many of the sentences in this one began, “After I’m gone…”. I got tired of it after just a little while. Every day I woke up not dead, became another day the journal was unnecessary.
Over the decades there have been many such attempts to journal my thoughts…and just as many failures. Journaling became a hobby I just wasn’t any good at.
A few years ago, my daughter-in-law gave me a handmade journal she sewed–by hand! I was determined to complete it. She’d worked so hard to create it for me, I felt the least I could in return was fill from front to back cover. While I have never stopped being a procrastinator, I did finally do just that. I finished my first journal! Every page was written upon, scribbled on, or held a picture of some sort. It took almost three years…but, I did it. Yay me.
At the beginning of this year, 2016, I started another. So far, I’ve written (or colored or drawn) on every page for the last 47 days. Feeling good about the prospect of completing another journal…but, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It’s only the middle of February. We’ll talk about this again in December and see how far I’ve really gotten in this one.
Then, there’s this online journal. It’s probably the fourth or fifth one of its kind I’ve begun and had high hopes for. Again, we’ll see what happens. Trying desperately to get more readers. Praying I don’t give up before that happens.
All of this, all of these journals were created to save, for posterity, my thoughts, ideas and opinions. The question is…does posterity give a cracker? Probably not. Am I the only one interested? Probably.
That’s not going to deter me…for now. I’m going to (try to) continue with this as long as I can because as long as I’m in here (the office) working on it…I don’t have to be out there, in the living room with the three noisy kids. So…yeah…I’m good.